The Blue Tractor [music, cur ev]

[siderea]

Okay, so:

1) The Ukrainian government has announced that spoils of war are not taxable income. Most especially tanks.

2) Ukraine's economy has a substantial agricultural base, and consequently, the Ukrainian countryside is richly blessed with Ukrainians who own tractors.

3) A tractor is strong enough to pull a Russian tank. Did you know that? I didn't know that.

4) There is now a Reddit sub, r/FarmersStealingTanks.

5) There is a Russian children's song, "The Blue Tractor". It's conceptually not unlike "Wheels on the Bus", but one of those peppy pop children's tunes with weapons-grade catchiness.

6)

2022 Mar 9: r/FarmersStealingTanks on Reddit: "There is now enough footage for the full song":

Watch on YouTube

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGvQSxGvAas)

Lyrics, from this site, translation compliments of u/data_monkey:

Едет, едет трактор Синий трактор, Едет трактор, едет трактор За мукой Дыр-дыр-дыр-дыр-дыр За мукой	Here comes a tractor A blue tractor Here comes a blue tractor For some flour Dr Dr Dr Dr Dr (engine sound) For some flour
Едет, едет трактор Белый трактор, Едет трактор, едет трактор Дождь пошёл Кап-кап-кап Дождь пошёл	Here comes a tractor A white tractor Here comes a white tractor It starts to rain Kap kap kap (raindrops) It starts to rain
Едет, едет трактор Мокрый трактор, Едет трактор, едет трактор По грязи Хлюп-хлюп-хлюп-хлюп По грязи	Here comes a tractor A wet tractor Here comes a wet tractor In the mud Hlyup hlyup (muddy sound) In the mud
Едет, едет трактор Грязный трактор, Едет, едет он на мойку Дыр-дыр-дыр Буль-буль-буль-буль Мы помоем трактор, Будет трактор чист	Here comes a tractor A dirty tractor Here comes a dirty tractor To the wash Bul bul bul (bubbles) We will wash the tractor Tractor will be clean!
Едет, едет трактор Чистый трактор, Едет чистый, синий трактор По полям По полям, по полям Синий трактор едет к нам По полям, по полям Дыр-дыр-дыр-дыр-дыр	Here comes a tractor A blue tractor Here comes a clean blue tractor In the fields In the fields, In the fields Blue tractor is coming to us In the fields, In the fields Dr Dr Dr x4

Comments

[kelkyag]

Tractors are serious business and made of torque. It wouldn't have occurred to me to ponder towing a tank with one, but I'm not surprised that they can.

One of the tractors in the video is blue, even! :)

[ewt]

This is great!

The translation in verse 5 seems off: the fourth line looks to me like it should be "Dr Dr Dr" again, rather than "To the wash".

[dewline]

Needed this!

Спасибо!

[cesy]

Excellent, thank you, that cheered me up!

[mallorys_camera]

This is hilarious! 😀

In tough times, it's snark and humor that pull me through, so thanks!

[pensnest]

I would never have expected 'tractors stealing tanks' to be a thing, but hey, why not?

What are they going to do with the tanks?

[dsrtao]

Well, you can refurbish them as tanks... or take all the armor off and they might make pretty good giant tractors.

[dsrtao]

On second thought, I bet there are enough deranged millionaires around the world to make a market for reclaimed hastily demilitarized ex-Russian tanks.

[technoshaman]

I've always wanted a tank. Put rubber-treaded tracks on it, light it up all legal-like, and take it down the highway, and just DOUBLE DAWG DARE that Bimmer to cut you off. If the State Patrol gets fussy about it, take some I-beams and fabricate some bumpers, and get some cheap old tyres to cut up and put over'em. You don't want to actually rip the Audi apart, you just wanna give the Lexus a little love tap. Oh, yeah, and it's gonna need a good horn, too. Pull-apart shop that specialises in big trucks should do the trick, take one off an old dump truck or sommat... HONK HONK and Mister Left Lane Camper is gonna need new underpants... of course, you paint it blue over gold, and fly the Rainbow Cascadia (see icon) from the turret..

Shipping would be a cast-iron [saxon]...

[katuah]

Oh that is superb!

[malovich]

*claps delightedly*

Whelp, looks like Ukraine has a new armoured corps in their militia.

[mama_kestrel]

Oh, that's fabulous! Thank you so much.

I'd think that any farmer accustomed to working on their own tractor might just be able to repair a tank. And then it is no longer a Russian tank; it's a tank for fighting Russians.

Just to add to the snark factor: The tank that someone painted the side of? Says, colloquially "not running". (Nye polit)

[siderea]

Ah, I was wondering about that! Does it mean "not running" in the sense of "we're not running away" or in the sense of "this tank is out of order"?

[mama_kestrel]

Out of order.

[mortuus]

That video is awesome. Totally sharing with all my coworkers who will have a particular appreciation for it.